Gosh, it's been almost a year since I have posted.  I can remember when Xanga was my place to rant, vent, praise, sing and write.  It's a little sad that it's fallen so far behind, but what the heck!  Here I am writing again.

I don't have much to say at the moment.  Still single, working hard, loving my job and trying to pay off bills while still enjoying life.  The usual American existence, I suppose.  Looking for Mr Right and loving my furry kids as my only children. 

I hope to drop back by here soon and start updating.  I have lots to talk about.

Well, here I am... at school again.  Can I ever get away from taking classes?  Probably not. I have guitar class later on too, so I am stuck either way.

I assisted with my first scope procedure at work the other day.  I was really intimidated, but it went really well.  I shouldn't have been nearly as scared as I was.  :)  I hope to keep on getting new opportunities like that.  I feel like I have been in a rut at work for the last few months, and it was nice to do something new.

My dating life is dead.  Every attempt I make backfires.  I'm just an old cat lady, I guess.  I get extremely depressed about it at least a few times a week, but I am trying to stay busy so I don't think about it too much. 

Do you know how hard it is to find fresh figs in the grocery?  It's VERY difficult.  I went to three different whole foods health stores, and found dried, but not fresh figs.  I finally gave up and got the Sun-Maid dried ones from Hen House.  Very frustrating that in today's technology, we can't ship a fresh fig..  Go figure.

I am desperate to do something fun lately.  I hope I don't spend all my money in a frivoluous attempt to escape my day to day humdrum stuff.  I have been really good, but sticky rice with soy sauce can only go so far for meals.

"What has happened to it all? Crazy, some say... Where is the life that I recognize? Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say, 'Pride will tear us both apart.'  Well, now pride's gone out the window - crossed the rooftops, gone away; left me in the vacuum of my heart.  What is happening to me?  Crazy, some say.  Where is my friend when I need you most?"

"Oh the night is my world; city lights, painted girls.  In the day, nothing matters.  It's the nighttime that flatters.  Another night, another day goes by... I live among the creatures of the night.  I haven't got the will to try and fight against a new tomorrow, so I guess I'll just believe it: that tomorrow never comes...  I'm living in the forest of my dream.  I know the night is not as it would seem.  I must believe in something, so I'll make myself believe it: that the night will never go."

"I tightly lock the door.  I try to catch my breath again.  I hurt much more than any time before.  I have no options left again.  I don't want to be the one the battles always choose...  I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream...  I don't know how I got this way.  I'll never be alright."

"And there's not enough room in this world for my pain.  Signals cross and love gets lost and time past makes it plain...  This bitter pill I swallow is the silence that I keep.  It poisons me, I can't swim free; the river is too deep."

"I can't sleep.  I've lost the urge to see.  No one's left to friend...  Where'd you go?  I need you now..."

"I'm not sure what I'm looking for anymore.  I just know that I'm harder to console.  I don't see who I'm trying to be instead of me.  All I know, is it's a question of control.  Can you say what you're trying to play, anyway?  I just pay while you're breaking all the rules.  All the signs that I find have been underlined...  All this running around; well it's getting me down.  Just give me a pain that I'm used to.  I don't need to believe all the dreams you conceive.  You just need to achieve something that rings true."

Shiny Toy Guns Fan Extraordinaire